The subject of child led parenting seems to cause a lot of angst. There are parents who want their kids to tell them everything even if they can’t talk. The kids will tell them what they want to eat, when they want to go to bed, when they want a story or don’t want a story, etc. That’s fine for some folks.

Then there are parents who will have none of that. They are in charge. They will choose the meals, when a story will be read and when the child will go to bed.

Well child led parenting is neither of those actions and perhaps has a little of both. Child led parenting is where the parent is still in charge but is sensitive to the wants and needs of the child. For example having a set routine of when the child will go to bed is not child led parenting. It may happen that your child is put into their cot or bed at the same time most days. But there will be times when the child is ready for bed sooner or later than the allotted time. In that case the parent, being sensitive to the needs of the child, varies the time of putting the child to bed. The child is leading the parent.

Now of course discipline has to be a part of any parenting. Say the child decides they don’t wish to eat a certain meal or a certain type of food. You, as the parent, can refuse to budge and insist the food provided is eaten. Or there are alternatives.

You could remove that type of food altogether. You could add another food to the one rejected thus tricking the child into eating it. Or you could put the food away and present it later when the child may be hungry. Let’s face it, we are not always hungry and we don’t all eat at exactly the same time and we don’t eat at all or as much when we are feeling ill. Listening to your child can be a way of practicing your child led parenting.

Then there is sleeping. Many parents have their child sleep in the parents’ bed. Apart from the possible dangers of rolling over and possibly hurting the child, there seems to be a wonderful bond develop between parent and child. In fact one problem can be that the child doesn’t want to leave. Some joking parents will even point out that they have to order their child back to their own bed because they are getting to an advanced age – for a child!

Parents who have their child in their own bed may feel a tug of disappointment when the child is finally returned to their own bed. It’s a matter for personal judgment but a child led parenting situation in sleeping arrangements can work itself out naturally.

Then there is toilet training. The parent may follow the guidelines but children are not machines. Some are happy to remain potty bound beyond the recommended year level and others are keen to move up to the grown-up equipment. You could apply the rules believing the time for change has come. Or you could encourage and observe your child and make the switch when the child is ready to do so. In some quarters that is known as child led parenting.

Here are additional resources you might be interested in:

Parenting Advice: Avoid these Most Common Parenting Mistakes

The Most Effective Parenting Techniques for the 21st Century

What are Different Parenting Styles?